Boat wont work??

I have this fiberglass thingy in my yard on a aluminium contraption with wheels.

I tried to turn it on, but the keys did not unlock the thingy??

After I re wired the entire aluminium and fiberglass contraptions all I got was fire and smoke and the damn thing would not go faster than the nieghbors cat??? all the water I added just came out the back but I am not sure why?

Anybody got any ideas why this will not work?

The proffessional arm wrestler I bought it from said it all worked perfect last year........He said just bring it home and have fun and so far we just stand around and look at it but cant figure out what to do next............

Oh and the motor is black with stuff all over it and the fan blade hanging off the back spins real good and works very well as a hiar dryer but it wobbles alot and my ol laidy's hair gets stuck in it due to all the sharp edges.........what can I do to stop it from cutting her hair off?

One more thing, there is this short arm with switches on it, WHat in the world does this do? It only moves a little in one direction and a little in the other. Seems to me that it would be a good bottle opener with some minor changes........what do you think? Is this something that is used a lot for any other purpose?

So far the local critters love this contraption as there is a ton of animal hair all over the inside.......must keep em warm at night......

anyway if anyone can help me make this thingy do what ever it is supposed to do I would appriciate a precise and direct answer so I can figure it out and maybe use it someday.

Thanks and dont sweat the small stuff............

Jeez you described my feelings and thoughts when i read some of these threads it's scary.

Could you tell me exactly how fast the cat is?

its not to fast got hit by the fan

Congratulations! You are the owner of a rare Pfleugerhaggen w/a flapdoodle drive.

How long has it been in your yard? Did It suddenly appear there or did it appear bit by bit? What color is the cat and is it a boy cat or a girl cat?

Well I normally don't like to give out to much advice, But I think I should ask you if you have that fiberglass thingy in your yard on a aluminium contraption with wheels used as a critter hotel with a fancy hair dryer/ hair cutter insured???

Maybe the insurance company can help with the remodel of your critter hotel? Oh wait your probably on vacation and need this done yesterday.